I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize