that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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