Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize