It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
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I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
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We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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