I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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