paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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