dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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