We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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