I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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