we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
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How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
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