and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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