Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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