not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize