Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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