HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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