btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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