it hurts more in the daytime
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize