just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
only if we run a train.
done.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
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So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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