You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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