Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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