what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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