Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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