There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize