We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize