I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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