found the other keg... it's in the tree
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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