i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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