You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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