My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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