Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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