I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
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and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
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hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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