Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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