I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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