i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize