If i come over, it means nothing
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
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my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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