dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize