Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize