I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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