Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
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NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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