a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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