everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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