i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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