Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize