You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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