you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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