the new term for farting is butt boxing.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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