dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize