Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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