you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize