DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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