When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize